bargaining for advantage shell

I keep hearing the song Hot N Cold by Katy Perry and everytime I hear it I think of Brian. Its like one day we get along great and I cant imagine being with anyone else, but the next he does or says something to me that makes me rethink the relationship. I think I keep hoping that things will work out,cuz Iapos;ll be alone if he leaves. And by alone I dont mean living alone. Right now I have his family (sort of,long story behind it) and some friends. And my friends dont really live all that close besides a few, and most are work friends, you know the ones you only see at work and talk to at work. I kinda wanna date again, I dont want a relationship, and Brian knows this, but I feel like that if I do date�then Iapos;m doing something wrong, when I know Iapos;m not. But none of the guys here in Marshfield seem to be interested in me anyway. I just dont know what to do anymore. Its getting to the point where Iapos;m like whatever. Iapos;ll probably never marry or have anymore kids, but whatever thats the way life goes. Iapos;m so confused that I give up.
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